25marks
Audience: Women who are married therefore the writing will need to be quite formal and maybe creating a conversational tone.
It should be up to the woman whether she works or if she does not. If the couple has offspring then the woman might want to consider staying at home until the children are able to fend for themselves, because offspring are dependent on their mother. But the father should help out the mother such as: doing the washing, cooking dinner, putting the children to sleep, cleaning up after the offspring, moreover all the things which 'used' to be a woman's duty and what she was expected to do.
Men should get involved with the children, women should not be expected to do everything but work.
In addition the offspring belong to both of the parents and therefore they should both spend equal amounts with them and doing things for them, the majority should not be put on to the women.
In 1964 when women were given 'allowances' by their husbands and they were not allowed to work because of the whole patriarchal society, women were dependent on their husbands for money and financial security. In addition if they worked they would have the right to spend the money they would earn on what they would, whether it be on their offspring or a new coat it would be there choice.
Why should women get burdened with all the children while the man get the privileges of going to work?? The woman needs a break from being at home all the time; going to work may give her the opportunity to get a break from the children and spend time on her own.
Women are not the property of their husbands and moreover they should not be treated like they are inferior and only only worthy to cook, clean, look after the offspring, and tidy up after the offspring.
Women should have the right of whether they want to work or stay at home it should not be down to society.
www mostly well written though a few errors in sense. You have aimed to express a definite opinion and followed this through.
ReplyDeleteebi however, the writing lacks cohesion between sentences and paragraphs, it rambles somewhat and doesn't have a binding structure. I would like to see you be a little more disciplined in your writing. Also of course, there is no commentary and therefore I am unable to determine why you have made the specific choices you have.
WWW
ReplyDelete-Use of parenthesis to show sarcasm
-Used info. from the book
-Gave personal opinion
EBI
Commentary
GRADE-16/25